I carry a blurry memory of a little girl with arms thrown above her head. Having invited nearly the whole neighborhood to her sixth birthday, she is surrounded by children of all ages, filling three picnic tables from end to end. The summer air is hot, but the popsicles are plenty. Her face can barely contain the joy.
At least, that’s how I remember it. That’s the image I have pieced together from shreds of memories, a few family photos, and the stories Mom tells from time to time. Like a Polaroid, I hold this version of myself gingerly around the edges. I bring the picture closer to my middle-aged eyes with wonder, “What was her secret?”
For a long time, I’ve been trying to remember what it was like to be that little girl. It is as if something deep within me aches to reconnect with some original version of myself, to an innocence and openhandedness much less prone to scarcity and insecurity, always reaching outward wild and free.
Now, I know I have a tendency toward nostalgia, to put a warm glow upon the past. But this image is different. It is less like a longing for the good-old days and more of a promise of what is yet to be. Because sometimes looking backward helps us see what was woven within us from the beginning, revealing pieces of ourselves that cry out for restoration and whispering clues to help us find our way.
One of the questions I was asked most often by editors and publishing folk when I began looking for a home for The Way of Belonging was, “Why this book?” And the answer was layered. But, in its simplest form, what I told them is that belonging is a question that wouldn’t leave me alone. Because despite how much distance I felt from that little girl and how she gathered without hesitation, I knew we were made for more than life at the surface. I held a soul-deep vision for more than thin connection and was not content to let belonging be a thing of the past.
And while I’m not a fan of five-step solutions or overly simplistic explanations for the loneliness we all seem to feel, I also wanted to know: What is our way forward?
I don’t consider The Way of Belonging the end-all-be-all answer to this question, but rather, a piece of a larger conversation. But what I do hope is that it gives us glimpses of a belonging far sturdier than we imagine and a reason to keep reaching out to one another. I hope the words and personal stories and bits o’ wisdom I’ve collected from research and Scripture provide a collective exhale to all of us who have felt lonely or awkward, on the outside or out of place.
Because the more I embrace belonging as a way of being rather than something I pray someone will hand me, the more I feel like I’m returning to that little girl. I am remembering the divine welcome planted within me long ago, and the colors are becoming clearer. I’m re-learning what it is to be held and to hold with the tenderness of a child, with plenty of wide-open space in which to throw out my hands, to become, and to grow into a welcome that has been there all along.
The Way of Belonging: Reimagining Who We Are and How We Relate releases June 11, which is THREE MONTHS from today. (Yeesh!) And as I reflect upon this book’s origins, I’m growing increasingly eager to see what unfolds.
As a thank-you to everyone who orders early (because, truly, it’s a huge act of support1)…
I’ve put together a Preorder Bonus that you can access starting today.
The details: If you order The Way of Belonging before June 11,2 you can claim the following bonuses:
digital download of “Wide Open Welcome,” a custom, high-resolution oil pastel print by artist
instant access to the first chapter
a lock-screen image with a quote from the book
an invitation to join my Human Together Summer Book Club (for free!)3 and read The Way of Belonging together (includes virtual launch party and author Q+A)
You can claim your preorder gifts at sarahewestfall.com/the-way-of-belonging and get immediate access to the art print, first chapter, and lock screen. You’ll also be added to the invitation list for the virtual launch party and summer book club (expect an email mid-May).
I hope you receive these gifts not as an incentive (I honestly don’t think I’ve ever ordered early just for the extras), but as a simple thank-you. For being here. For being you. For your support. For your questions. For your willingness to explore this thing called belonging. I’m so glad for all the ways you’ve said “yes” to coming along.
exceedingly grateful,
Sarah
Honestly, asking for preorders makes me a tad sweaty. I love this book and cannot wait to see it in peoples’ hands, but in this day and age, it’s a pretty big ask to invite people to purchase now and then wait days, weeks, months for it to land on their porch. And while I’m one who loves those days leading into my birthday and Christmas (oh, the anticipation!), I know not everyone shares my sentiment. But please know that by preordering (whether my book or another book), you’re helping support authors and “cast your vote” for what book buyers stock and what online retailers show potential readers. It’s a whole thing I don’t fully understand, but know I’m grateful.
As part of Women’s History Month, IVPress.com (my publisher) currently has a deal (20% off and free shipping) if you purchase books from new women authors! Here’s a link to peruse the books and learn more.
If you’re already a paid subscriber to Human Together, your subscription will be paused for June, July, and August 2024. If you’re an annual subscriber, your renew date will be pushed three months, and monthly subscribers will simply not be charged during those summer months. If you have questions, let me know.
Just pre-ordered and I'm SO excited about it! The cover is gorgeous and I can't wait to read the words inside (I guess chapter one will have to do for now!)
Honored to be a part of your thank you gifts for the readers of this beautiful book of yours. 🤲🏻